Should You Do a First Look? A Documentary Wedding Photographer’s Honest Pros & Cons

You’ve probably heard this question at least a dozen times by now:

“Are you two doing a first look?”

And your brain immediately goes to…

• Isn’t that bad luck?

• Will it ruin the aisle moment?

• Is this just another ‘extra’ photographers push?

Totally fair questions. Let’s be real: the wedding industry is full of “must-do” trends that might not actually matter to you. But a first look isn’t just a cute Pinterest moment. When it’s planned thoughtfully, it can completely change how your day feels… and how much time you actually get to enjoy it.

As a documentary-style wedding photographer, I’m not here to sell you a gimmick. My job is to protect your experience and tell your story honestly. And from that perspective, I will almost always recommend doing a first look, not because it gives me more content, but because, done properly, it gives you something incredibly valuable:

Time back throughout your day.

Let’s walk through what a first look actually is, how it changes your timeline, and the real pros and cons so you can make a decision that actually serves you.

What Is a First Look, Really?

A first look is simply a private(ish) moment where you see each other before the ceremony. It’s usually:

• Just the two of you (plus me, quietly out of the way with a camera)

• In a spot with good light and relative privacy

• Planned into your timeline, not thrown in last minute

It’s not a performance. It doesn’t have to be dramatic. You don’t need to cry on cue.

At its best, a first look is:

• A pause button in the middle of a very full day

• A chance to actually talk to each other before the ceremony

• The starting point of a calmer, more flexible timeline

The Big Picture: How a First Look Gives You Time Back

Before we get into individual pros and cons, here’s the key thing I want you to understand:

A first look isn’t just “more photos beforehand.” It completely re-arranges your day in your favor.

Without a first look, most of this has to happen after the ceremony:

• Couple portraits

• Wedding party photos

• Family formals

• Any extra group shots you want

You’re usually trying to fit all of that into cocktail hour. Which means:

• Very little time to breathe

• Very little time with your guests

• A lot of “we’re late, we have to hurry” energy

With a first look, we can move a huge chunk of that before the ceremony:

• First look → portraits of the two of you

• Then wedding party photos

• Sometimes even some family photos, if everyone’s present

That means your cocktail hour becomes an actual cocktail hour, not a speed-run. You get more candids, more time with your people, and way less stress.

The Pros of Doing a First Look (Especially From a Documentary Perspective)

Let’s start with the upsides, because there are many and they’re more emotional + experiential than people expect.

1. You Get a Real Moment Together

Ceremony nerves are real. You’re about to stand in front of all your favorite humans and promise each other forever. It’s a lot.

During a first look, there’s space.

• You can say, “Oh my god, you look amazing.”

• You can hug each other as long as you want.

• You can laugh, cry, swear, breathe.

From a documentary standpoint, this is gold because it’s true, unguarded emotion. There’s no officiant talking, no aisle logistics, no one telling you what to do next. Just the two of you, reacting to each other.

2. It Calms Nerves Before the Ceremony

If one or both of you are anxious, shy, or not fans of being the center of attention, a first look can change everything.

Instead of spending all morning feeling like you’re gearing up for a performance, you get to see your person and remember, “Oh right. It’s just you and me. That’s why we’re here.”

Couples almost always say:

“I still felt excited walking down the aisle… but I wasn’t terrified anymore.”

You’re not losing the magic; you’re trading panic for grounded excitement.

3. You Reclaim Cocktail Hour

From a purely practical standpoint, this is the biggest win.

With a first look timeline, we can usually get done before the ceremony:

• First look

• Portraits of you two

• All or most of the wedding party photos

Then after the ceremony, all that’s left is:

• Family photos

• A few just-married portraits if the light is gorgeous

• And then you’re free to enjoy cocktail hour

That means:

• More candid photos with your guests

• More time to actually hug people, grab a drink, and soak it all in

• Less “herding cats” energy with the wedding party

Your photos become a byproduct of you having a good time, rather than the reason you’re missing it.

4. Better Use of Light

Photography is literally painting with light. The time of day we take portraits makes a huge difference in how your photos look and feel.

If your ceremony is late in the day (hello, golden hour), a first look allows us to:

• Use softer, more flattering light before the ceremony

• Avoid harsh midday sun when it’s highest and brightest

• Have flexibility to chase the best pockets of light without racing

If there’s no first look and the ceremony is late, we’re often squeezing portraits into the last 10–15 minutes of usable light, which = rushed and limited options. Read more about the best way to schedule Couples Portraits to benefit from the light throughout the entire day here.

5. A Smoother Timeline for Everyone Else, Too

When the couple has a calm, well-paced day, everyone around them feels it:

• The wedding party isn’t stuck in an hour-long photo marathon after the ceremony.

• Family doesn’t have to stand around waiting forever to be called.

• Your planner, DJ, and caterer can stay on schedule more easily.

You hired your vendors to create an experience, not chaos. A first look helps the whole team do their best work, quietly in the background.

6. More Space for Documentary Moments

Because we’re not burning all of cocktail hour and early reception on formal photos, I have more time to:

• Catch your parents holding hands in the crowd

• Notice your college friends doubling over laughing

• Photograph the little in-between moments you’ll never see in real time

Your gallery becomes less about “posed blocks of time” and more about a complete, honest story.

The Real Cons of a First Look (Yes, There Are Some)

I genuinely believe in the value of a first look—but it’s not perfect or required. You deserve the full picture.

1. It Shifts Your Timeline Earlier

If your ceremony is at 4:00 PM and you want a first look, your coverage might need to start closer to 1:00 or 1:30 PM. That means:

• Hair and makeup may need to start earlier

• You need to be mostly ready well before the ceremony

2. It’s Not Traditional (in Some Families’ Eyes)

For some families and cultures, seeing each other for the first time in the aisle is deeply important. You might hear comments like:

• “But it’s bad luck!”

• “We didn’t do that in my day.”

If tradition is really important to you or your family, skipping a first look may genuinely be the right choice.

That said, traditions also evolve. For many couples, the “bad luck” idea doesn’t resonate anymore, and they’re more focused on feeling present and grounded.

3. It Changes the Aisle Moment, But Doesn’t Ruin It

This is the big fear: “If we do a first look, will the aisle moment still be special?”

Honest answer: it will feel different, but not less.

• Instead of “Oh my gosh, that’s what you look like!” it becomes “Oh my gosh, it’s really happening.”

• The emotion shifts from pure surprise to the weight of the moment: your family, your vows, your actual marriage beginning.

I’ve seen couples who did a first look still cry harder during the ceremony than they did earlier. It’s not a duplicate moment; it’s layer two.

4. It Requires a Bit of Structure

A first look works beautifully when it’s intentionally planned:

• We choose a time and location in advance

• We build in a few extra minutes of buffer

• We coordinate with your planner and hair/makeup

If it’s thrown together last minute, it can feel rushed or chaotic and that’s not what you want.

This is why I always help couples map out a timeline where the first look feels like a breather, not another item on a to-do list.

When Skipping a First Look Might Make Sense

Even though I almost always recommend doing a first look, there are weddings where skipping it can be the better call. For example:

• Very early ceremonies (e.g., 11 AM) where there’s plenty of afternoon light afterward

• Tiny weddings with simple timelines and no big gap between ceremony and dinner

• Deeply traditional or religious ceremonies where seeing each other beforehand truly doesn’t feel right to you

If your whole heart is set on that aisle moment being the first sight, let’s honor that. We’ll just need to be more intentional about coverage, timing, and expectations afterward.

So… Should You Do a First Look?

Here’s my honest, documentary-photographer answer:

If you care about having a calm, connected day with time to breathe, be with your guests, and not rush your photos… a first look is almost always worth it.

Not because it’s trendy. Not because photographers “like it better.” But because, done properly, it gives you:

• More genuine time with each other

• More genuine time with your people

• A smoother timeline and better light

• Less stress and more presence

And that’s the kind of day that translates into photos you can feel, not just look at.

How We Handle First Looks So They Actually Serve You

If you decide to do a first look, here’s what I do to make sure it gives you time back instead of stealing it:

• Timeline planning: I help you map out when and where we’ll do the first look, how it fits around makeup, travel, and the ceremony.

• Location scouting: I find a spot with good light and privacy so you’re not doing this in a parking lot while guests walk by.

• Space to breathe: I build in buffer time so you’re not sprinting into it. You get a moment to exhale before we start.

• Low-key direction: I’ll gently guide you into place, step back, and let whatever happens… happen. No acting. No forced reactions.

• Efficient portraits afterward: Since we’re already together and looking amazing, we can roll into portraits and wedding party photos while energy is high and light is good.

By the time your ceremony starts, you’ve already shared a quiet moment, taken beautiful photos, and freed up a huge portion of your day to simply enjoy.

Final Thoughts: Choose What Serves the Experience You Want

At the end of the day, this isn’t really a question about trend vs tradition. It’s a question about how you want your wedding day to feel.

• Do you want a calm, connected morning that leads into a relaxed ceremony and a cocktail hour you actually attend?

• Or do you want to hold tightly to that first-sight-at-the-aisle moment, knowing you’ll trade a bit of flexibility later?

There’s no wrong answer. My role is to be honest about how each choice shapes your day, emotionally, practically, and visually.

If you’re leaning toward a first look (or you’re on the fence and want to talk through your specific timeline), I’m here for that conversation. We’ll look at your ceremony time, locations, priorities, and build a plan that doesn’t just look good on paper… it feels good when you’re actually living it.